Feedback for Ideas
After Presenting two of my Initial Ideas during one of my lessons, I received feedback on each idea and how to refine my ideas to create a strong possibility for my Opening Sequence.
For my Idea #1, I received the feedback that even they though my Opening Sequence was a good blend of different conventions of a Thriller, it was still slightly to much on the Genre of a Horror Story and so didn't fit the task of us having to create a Thriller. Another piece of feedback which I received was that my storyline was slightly unrealistic with the idea that she had been possessed with her inner clown and so I was told I should attempt making it much more subtle about her condition to prevent the chances of creating a Horror Opening instead.
For my Idea #4 one element which I was commended on was the little details I had included, for example the hand reaching into the bag of peanuts and the coffee cup being slurped, but with these extra intricate details I was also told I gave to much information away during my Opening Sequence, as I was also given the suggestion to leave the audience confused as I was told I had actually transformed my Opening Sequence to sound like a short film.
One element I discovered from both of my given feedbacks was that both ideas, even though they were complemented for their incredible detail were both overly long for an Opening Sequence, and so I have decided to develop both of my ideas accordingly from the feedback which I received:
For my development of Initial Idea #1, I have decided to still begin the sequence with a continuous shot, but now down a silent corridor with doors shut on either side until the camera turns and stops on a room where we can see, through the metal bars, a young girl sitting cross legged inside peacefully whilst also still strapped into a straight jacket. The door to the room begins to unlock and a nurse starts talking, patronising the patient, insulting her on lots of different matters. As she enters and locks the door behind her she slams a food tray down onto the ground and the girl, still on the floor, starts to pull a smile maliciously out of the corners of her mouth, with the intention of no good. She begins to talk back to the nurse, quietly muttering in a slightly lowered voice than we would of imagined her to have and then quickly after yells at herself to shut up and starts rocking back and fourth into the corner of the room. The nurse, thinking she has insulted her, slaps her across the face. Shocked the girl has numerous quick changes of emotion from sad to happy, laughing and screaming for help, revealing something highly odd until she stops all emotion, pauses and jumps up and leaps towards the nurse.
Black Out
To make my Idea more realistic, as said in my feedback, I have decided to remove the idea that she is possessed by her Inner Clown and now instead actually diagnosed with the condition of Schizophrenia, to still create her inner demon's but in a real life condition, actually creating a Psychological Thriller within my Idea.
One element I discovered from both of my given feedbacks was that both ideas, even though they were complemented for their incredible detail were both overly long for an Opening Sequence, and so I have decided to develop both of my ideas accordingly from the feedback which I received:
For my development of Initial Idea #1, I have decided to still begin the sequence with a continuous shot, but now down a silent corridor with doors shut on either side until the camera turns and stops on a room where we can see, through the metal bars, a young girl sitting cross legged inside peacefully whilst also still strapped into a straight jacket. The door to the room begins to unlock and a nurse starts talking, patronising the patient, insulting her on lots of different matters. As she enters and locks the door behind her she slams a food tray down onto the ground and the girl, still on the floor, starts to pull a smile maliciously out of the corners of her mouth, with the intention of no good. She begins to talk back to the nurse, quietly muttering in a slightly lowered voice than we would of imagined her to have and then quickly after yells at herself to shut up and starts rocking back and fourth into the corner of the room. The nurse, thinking she has insulted her, slaps her across the face. Shocked the girl has numerous quick changes of emotion from sad to happy, laughing and screaming for help, revealing something highly odd until she stops all emotion, pauses and jumps up and leaps towards the nurse.
Black Out
To make my Idea more realistic, as said in my feedback, I have decided to remove the idea that she is possessed by her Inner Clown and now instead actually diagnosed with the condition of Schizophrenia, to still create her inner demon's but in a real life condition, actually creating a Psychological Thriller within my Idea.
For my Idea #4 I decided to write a script in the form of developing my Idea with the feedback I received, below is the link:
http://hurtwoodmeadia15naomisklar.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/initial-ideas-script.html
http://hurtwoodmeadia15naomisklar.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/initial-ideas-script.html
Comments
Post a Comment